Close Encounters: Reports of Aliens in Australia
by Claudine ZapJun 18, 2009
What you thought was a nice place to see kangaroos and the Outback is actually the site of the coming alien invasion. Well, maybe.
The blog I09 recounts a spate of reports that Australians in Sydney have been abducted, taken to a medical facility in the Blue Mountains, and, um, medically examined.
The victims claim to be sort of asleep, conveniently next to an open window, when they levitate over the city and onto an operating table inside an Unidentified Flying Object. This is where they face the inevitable "dental or baking instrument" used as a probe. (If anyone has been abducted by aliens and not faced the probe, please come forward now.)
Extraterrestrial enthusiasts are probing for UFOs online. Interest in "ufo evidence" has mysteriously increased 125% in the last seven days, along with "real aliens," "ufo photos," and "ufo sightings." Then there's the ominous "aliens will probably invade."
Self-proclaimed UFO expert Michael Cohen, who has studied the abduction reports, can't explain the alien interest in Aussies. But the details do tell him certain things: Since the reports come from single men, these aliens appear not to like witnesses (or marriage. But we digress). Aliens can't make people float through walls (they do seem to choose places with open windows).
Sure, all that makes sense to us. But will someone please explain the deal with the probe?
