Submitted: May 6, 2008 - Absent a sudden revelation that Barack Obama is the illegitimate child of Fidel Castro, brainwashed in Cuba and sent to Hawaii to grow up to be President of the United States and stage a communist coup, it's now all but certain that Barack Obama is the Democratic presidential nominee.

It's now 2 hours and 15 minutes since the Indiana polls closed and 1 hour and 45 minutes since the North…